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Uniquely Grieving

We’ve all heard it: “No one grieves the same”.

Rose and shadow
We all grieve differently and that can be both a wonderful and difficult thing.

And while this may be true, it often seems that “grief is just grief.”

There are many types of grief. Here are just a few people and things we grieve:

  • Loss of family member or friend

  • Loss of a child or spouse

  • Loss of parents

  • Loss of a job

  • Loss of a relationship

  • Loss of a pet

  • Loss of a home

We are all very unique individuals. We have unique personal characteristics and personalities, appearances and sizes. We all have life experiences that are very unique to each of us and make us the people we are. So doesn’t it make total sense that we would all grieves in a unique way?

Of course!

But this fact is sometimes hard to remember.

We might find ourselves questioning how we are grieving or how someone we know grieves. We might ask: Isn’t this type of grieving somehow wrong?

The truth is, there is no wrong or right way to grieve as long as you don’t do harm to yourself or someone else. I ran across the following poem written by A van der Vekdeb that I believe can help us to remember that grief has many faces…..

The Many Faces of Grief

Robert still cannot sleep to well, he's awake from 2am.

Janet is the opposite, and doesn't rise till ten.

Sarah made a special card, for each and everyone.

She did this sitting on the beach, while soaking up the sun.

Samuel went out to the shed, in the middle of the night.

He grabbed the axe and chopped the wood, until it was first light.

George took out his little boat, and sailed across the bay.

We may be family, we may be friends, be we each grieve in our own way.

Peter flew off the handle, anything set him off.

Pat put a message in a balloon and gently set it aloft.

Tui simply went to bed and hid under the sheets

She couldn't bear to leave the house, it's now been several weeks.

Jane cleaned the entire hours, from room to room she went.

Till the house was cleaner than it had ever been and all her tears were spent.

Leo couldn't wash at all, he didn't shower for days.

We may be friends or family but we grieve in different ways.

Mark just HAD to go to work to "take his mind off things",

Melissa walked to the park at dusk and sat quietly on the swings.

Bethany went down to the gym, she didn't do this for fun,

And if that didn't help ease her pain, she'd head out for a run.

Patricia looks like nothing's wrong, that not a tear was shed,

Plenty have been but no one knows, she only cries in bed.

So please be kind and gentle when loved ones pass away,

For each of us will be grieving in our own and special way.

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