Work It Out - Dealing With Difficult People at Work

We all know the experience dealing with difficult people at work and getting those

Stress can make even a dream job feel like a drag.

passive-aggressive, dismissive or straight-up aggressive emails or call outs in meetings that make you feel like your job is the worst thing in your life at that moment.

Workplace stress is a common experience, and it can be made worse by challenging relationships with bosses and coworkers. Fortunately, there are strategies you can employ to not only manage stress but also improve communication in these situations. We have a stress journal just for you here and four effective ways to navigate these complex interactions:

1. Practice Mindfulness and Stress Management Techniques

Hear me out, I know this is a trending word and concept, but it's worth a go-over. Mindfulness, when used right, can be a powerful tool in managing work-related stress. Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or even short walks during breaks can help center your thoughts and calm your mind.

Try It Out:

• Set Aside Time: Dedicate a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through this process, or you can just set a timer for as little as 30 seconds, close your eyes, put your hand on your chest and simply breathe.

• Incorporate Breathing Exercises: When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply and touch each fingertip to your thumb while you breathe in, and exhale while going the opposite way, touching each fingertip to your thumb.

• Validate Your Emotions: Your emotions are ALWAYS valid, they're just not always true, so take a deep breath in and say "It's ok I feel _______" and breathe out and say "I'm going to make it through this".

By grounding yourself, you can not only reduce stress but also improve your ability to tolerate those irritating coworkers.

2. Communicate Assertively

When dealing with a challenging boss or coworker, assertive communication is key but it has to be done in a direct yet respectful manner to be able to make an impact with your words. You can say anything, as long as it's framed right, so try these out:

Try It Out:

• Use “I” Statements: Frame your concerns around your own feelings and own your own emotions. For example, say “I feel overwhelmed when deadlines change at the last minute and I need to know at least 24 hours in advance” instead of “You always change deadlines.” When in doubt, send it in an email to create a paper trail!

• Practice in the Mirror: If this is something that you feel heated about, practice what you WANT to say in the mirror and don't hold back! Let all that negativity and anger out into the open, and then edit it down, practice again until you feel like you're in the sweet spot, take a deep breath and go for it.

• Stay Calm and Professional: Keep your tone steady and your body language open. This helps prevent the conversation from escalating into confrontation. If you feel like you or the other person is getting heated, simply say "I don't think we are communicating in a helpful way, let's continue this conversation after we have time to think and calm down". There's no shame in taking the conversations slowly.

Assertive communication can help you set boundaries and express your needs, making it easier to navigate difficult interactions.

3. Seek Support and Build Alliances

Building relationships with supportive colleagues can significantly mitigate stress. Having a network to lean on during tough times not only provides emotional support but also practical advice and solutions.

Try It Out:

• Connect with Coworkers: Find your people who can be your safe spaces, where vent sessions can be had with confidence that no one else is going to hear about the honest and vulnerable things you say in sadness, anger or frustration. Connect with other coworkers who just take the edge off and can even restore your faith in humanity.

• Find a Mentor: If possible, seek out someone in your workplace who can offer guidance and perspective on handling difficult situations.

Creating a support system can help you feel less isolated and more empowered to deal with challenges.

4. Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When faced with work stress, it’s easy to get caught up in negativity. Instead, try to adopt a solution-oriented mindset. This means shifting your focus from the challenges to potential solutions.

Try It Out:

• Identify Issues: When a problem arises, take a moment to outline what’s bothering you.

• Brainstorm Solutions: For each issue, think of at least two possible solutions. This proactive approach can reduce feelings of helplessness and stress.

By concentrating on solutions, you’ll not only feel more in control but also demonstrate to your colleagues and boss that you’re committed to improving the work environment.

Grab your journal here and know that dealing with work stress and difficult relationships at work can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. By practicing mindfulness, communicating assertively, seeking support, and focusing on solutions, you can create a more positive work experience for yourself and those around you. It’s all about finding the right balance and fostering an environment where everyone can thrive.